Dear Canadian Mayors:
Eat yer hart out Toronto, Montreal, Calgary, Edmonton, Victoria, Brandon, Winnipeg, Moncton, St. John, Yellowknife, Inuvik, Halifax, Barrie, Gravenhurst, Guelph, Hamilton, London, Kitchener, Kingston, Peterborough, St. Catherines, Sarnia, Thunder Bay, Stratford, Sudbury, Timmins, Windsor, Waterloo, Flin Flon, Charlottetown, Chicoutimi, Quebec City, Sherbrooke, Regina, Saskatoon, Whitehorse and my goodness, little South Algonquin, my favorite place, the location of my cottage. All yous guys still have da ward system cause yous guys not near progressive as our guys.
We soon gonna get somethem you not got…a general vote for de election of our local council. We gonna have somethem that is rarer than spare change at Oshawa tax time. But then we are bigger dan many of yous guys and so it makes sense that our council smarter too.
We so progressive, guess we de only guys to see the light. Good thing we got dem council guys lookin after us. We jus let dese guys go do what they think best for us.
We got Tweedle dee and Tweedle dumb. We even got Tweedle dumber lookin after us. Tweedle dee, he just throw out motion and Tweedle dumb and Tweedle dumber jump up and dance, “We support that!” Sometime they jump up so fast dat their little pointy hats fall off. Along with Councillor Joe, we call dem de gang a four.
Councillor Joe--he even a mind reader. He know which way he gonna vote even before he hear da motion.… He say, “I’m never gonna support motion from dat guy!” Bet you other guys wish you had guy this smart on your council! He know what he not support before he hear it.
Us guys in Oshawa, we glad to have set forward thunking leaders…imagine us in Oshawa treaden democratically where no one else dare to go. I guess we set pattern for all yous other guy in Canada to follow our lead.
Oh! I know dat dere is one guy, Longworth in town…a real disturber who wants to keep our election system dat all yous guys in Canada use and maybe he so busy debunking and debating our grate Oshawa leaders that maybe he don’t see the light. Maybe he should start using his energy to defend our smart guy on city council.
So eat your heart out Canada, and hope someday that yous get de smart guy wid the smart idea like we got.
If you want dese guys, I know they be free after next election and maybe come to help ya den.
“Proud” from Oshawa